The Gnome Incident
by LittleMissLoony
Summary: Fred and George attempt to help Lee get over his fear of gnomes. Hilarity ensues. Part of "The Weird Phobia" challenge.


Being a trusted sidekick to the notorious Fred and George Weasley was no mean feat. Lee Jordan filled that position perfectly. Over the past few years, they had created the most daring pranks seen before at Hogwarts. You would think that someone as cocky and confident as Lee Jordan wouldn't be scared of anything.

During their fourth year, in the middle of December, Lee was at the Burrow. He was helping the Weasley twins with their latest invention, Nosebleed Nougats. It wasn't exactly the best idea to result to have to use one another as test subjects, but he soon realised that their creations were very safe. In all honesty, sometimes Lee thought Fred and George were the brightest and most inquisitive people he knew – his beliefs fell short during one particular incident.

* * *

><p>"Oi, Gred!" Lee yelled over the fence of the Burrow's garden. "Forge is looking for you... something about a punching telescope?"<p>

"Oh sh-" Fred was interrupted by the maniacal scream from a gnome as it clawed its hand onto his shoe. "Hey Lee, can you get this bloody gnome off me?"

Lee's eyes widened. No way was he ever going to go near one of those scary monsters. Of all the creatures he had seen in the wizarding world, why was it that he had to be scared of those little blighters? He didn't know why, but everything about them frightened him: their squashed mumbling faces, their odd zombie-like walk, the way they cackled and clung onto any foot they could find. Why couldn't they be those adorable little muggle gnomes that had little red caps and fishing rods?

"Gnomes? Right, I'm going back inside," Lee backed away from the gate, as if it was contaminated.

"Why?" Fred asked, whilst kicking the potato-headed creature back into the hedgerow with force. It landed with a satisfying thud.

"Those things freak me out."

Lee tried to make his way back to the Burrow, but Fred stood in front of him, his blue eyes curious.

"You still didn't answer my question properly;" he stated and asked, "so what's wrong with them?"

"They're ugly, they're creepy. That one tried to bite me yesterday!"

Lee narrowed his eyes at a particularly evil-looking one that was scrambling back through the undergrowth. Fred rolled his eyes and hid a smirk, knowing Lee was being far too dramatic.

"How the hell do you know that's the same gnome?"

"I just do. Look at his eyes; he's out to get me," He took a step back and pointed, his arms clutched to his sides.

"Bloody Merlin's pink knickers, you need help." Fred sighed, placing his hand on Lee's shoulder, mockingly giving him a look that suggested he was going mad. He waved over his twin, who happened to have a subtle hint of a black eye, and explained Lee's silly phobia.

"George, don't you think we need to help our young protégée with his irrational fear of gnomes?"

"Why yes I believe we do, brother. Come on."

They both smiled mischievously and before Lee knew it, Fred had grabbed his arms, George taking his legs and they carried him over to the gnome-infested field.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing? Fred, let go!"

"The only way you can get over your phobia, Lee, is by facing up to it."

"I'd prefer not to in all honesty. So put me down."

"Fine." They said in unison, dropping him by a hedgerow and backing away towards the fence again. Lee looked around, and saw at least a dozen tiny black eyes staring back at him.

"Not here!" He yelled as he tried to clamber along the ground in search of safety from the crazy smiles plastered on the gnomes' faces.

"You should have been more specific, Mr Jordan."

"Oh, bloody funny, aren't you– eeeep!" He let out a short shriek as two gnomes started scrambling towards his feet, their teeth bared as if ready to tear his ankles to shreds. "You two are so going to get it when I get out of here!"

"Always optimistic, our Lee, isn't he?" Fred grinned.

"Very much so. Going to help him?" George suggested, being the slightly more serious doppelganger.

"And risk that little bugger trying to cut me limb from limb?" He retorted, thinking his twin was just as crazy as the scared little man before them. "No thanks."

"Come on , we'd better show our Gryffindor pride."

"Watch out!" Fred screamed, and ducked as a gnome come flying in his direction, barely missing his head.

"Where on earth did that come from?" George looked back at Lee, who stood triumphantly at the edge of the field, fighting his way through a miniature army of gnomes. They, however, kept toppling over.

"You know, they're just stupid little dunderheads, aren't they?" Lee smiled, as the three of them watched the gnome he had just thrown stumble around as if it was drunk.

He grabbed two more of them by the leg, threw one of them high into the air and sent the second spiralling after him. They crashed into a field a few yards away, constantly bumping and attempting to wrestle each other.

"I wonder what we'll be putting on the Christmas tree..." Fred and George mused.

* * *

><p>That night, the Weasley family were preparing the Christmas decorations; Ginny's paper chains and tinsel lined the walls and ceiling, and Fred and George decided to put their plan into action. In the morning, they blindfolded Lee and led him through to the sitting room.<p>

"Lee! Merry Christmas!" They chanted, and removed their hands.

Atop the Christmas tree, dressed in yellowish wings and a pale dress, was a grumbling gnome. It was the strangest and ugliest angel Lee had ever seen, but he knew he would get Fred and George back one day. That day came very quickly, as it happened, as Fred opened his Christmas present and ran out of the house screaming.

What was he screaming at, you might ask? Oh, a very well-placed beetle, courtesy of Lee Jordan.


End file.
